Author: Seth


READ: Deuteronomy 18:3-5

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

James 4:10


Tithing Christians fulfil the law of humility, which creates wealth. Wealth comes from God. Blessing comes from God. When a person tithes, he demonstrates his recognition of the God-factor in his very existence. He demonstrates his respect for God’s input in his life. He declares his gratitude to God for helping him. A person who tithes therefore fulfils the law of humility.

Humility has been shown to be an important factor in wealth creation. Arrogant wealthy empires have crumbled through their pride. Political parties have lost their power through pride and complacency. Successful companies have been wiped out when the management lost their original humble attitudes.

Paying tithes helps you remember that you did not make it on your own. Paying tithes causes you to bow your knees to your Creator each time you receive money. Paying tithes causes you to humble yourself before a priest whom you may have otherwise despised. Many arrogant and rich people have no time for priests or pastors. They see them as hyenas and vultures scavenging for the scraps of the successful and wealthy. When wealthy people have to pay tithes for the upkeep of these “irrelevant members of society”, it will help them to stay humble. Any businessman who stays humble will generate wealth for himself. Any Christian who maintains a humble attitude will create wealth for himself. Paying tithes forces you to humbly submit

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My love, are you taking care of you? Remember I said to take good care of you for me right? I hope you are doing just that….. All ryt!…..

So today, I want to tell you about my breathtaking (my breath was literally taking away. Hahahaha) journey home from church last Sunday. Hubby dear, my Sundays ain’t like any ordinary one. I mean, I don’t have the Sundays where I decide whether go to church or not. Neither do I go to church and get back home by 2:00pm. Naaah, hun! Your wife’s Sundays start at 7 a.m and end mostly around 11 p.m

Okay okay, don’t be scared now. It will definitely change but please don’t expect too much b’cuz ‘asesaa, n3y3’ 8-9 p.m). Hehehehe, baako suro! Agyei (I actually told you that I love my daddy, God very much right?) Well, Sundays are my working days for Him(1 full day out of 7 days isn’t so much fun but that’s the only day ‘Pharaoh’ would let me serve my God fully. So there it is. Just do not fret over this okay.

My story; We all know it rained heavily on that day right? And every Ghanaian if not the whole world, knows how it is with Accra and heavy rains! Dear, Sunday was definitely no different……

As at 2pm, two hours after it started raining, my mum had started calling my phone, trying to see if I was safe. I was in church ooo. Qodesh for that matter but this sweet woman was worried sick about my safety(you can’t blame her you know, its Accra Rain we are talking about). She actually got me promising to close early.
Although deep down, I knew I wasn’t (does this qualify for a lie? I hope it doesn’t). Hahahaha….

Now, after my first rehearsals, I decided to go into the wisdom importation service with my Bishop baako p3, Bishop Dag. Meehhn, it was such an amazing time in God’s presence. He spoke about wisdom 30 (please remind me to tell you about all the ‘wisdoms’ okay!).

Please note that, my amazing mum had not stop calling. She was calling even during the service. So, after the service, I called back only for her to tell me all the roads leading home were being reported to be flooded and ECG too had taking their light. Thus, she begs me, I should leave church immediately.
She sounded hysterical and very worried.
Bae, I had no excuse than to obey her. I was ready to deny my family just so I could carry my cross but I figured, ‘ I am to obey my parents in the Lord………..’. I instantly and quickly sent my pastor a message explaining why I had to skip our prayer meeting. I stepped out and it was raining. I opened my umbrella and started walking……

Sugar, this is where my breathtaking journey started. However, as usual, I do not want to bore you with too much reading. But as I always say, “I love me some smart guy who likes reading and researching. So I will stop here and continue in my next episode okay. I will then tell you how I had to……………….

Until then, keep holding on. I can feel you getting closer and closer. I know we will soon meet.
Be good and stay sweet….

Your wife,
Josephine Jessica Abena Sika Boatemaa Kusi

Source :

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Must Read �� THIS TOUCHY STORY �� “My boss drove a luxury car everyday and it was my duty to greet him and to open the gates for him, as I worked as a watchman in his villa. But he never responded back to my greetings. One day he saw me opening the garbage bags outside the villa in search for any leftover food. But, as usual he never even looked at me, it was like as if he never saw anything! The very next day I saw a paper bag at the same place, but it was clean and the food inside was covered well. It was fresh and good food like someone had just brought it from the supermarket. I didn’t bother as to where it came from, I just took the paper bag and I was so happy about it. Every day I found this paper bag at the same place with fresh vegetables and all that we needed for home. This became my daily routine. I was eating and sharing this food with my wife and kids. I was wondering who this fool could be?! To forget his paper bag full of fresh food everyday. One day there was a big problem in the villa and I was told that my boss has died. There were too many guests coming to the villa that day and I didn’t get any food that day, so I thought that one of the guests must have taken it. But the same thing happened the 2nd day, the 3rd day and the 4th day. It went on like this for a few weeks and I found it difficult to provide food for my family, so I decided to ask the wife of my boss for a raise in my salary or else I would quit my job as a watchman. After I told her, she was shocked, and asked me, how come you never complained about your salary for the last 2 years? And why is this salary not enough for you now? I gave her so many excuses but she was never convinced! Finally in the end, I decided to tell her the truth, I told her the entire story of the bag of groceries, and as to how it was my daily provision. She then asked me as to when this stopped? I told her after the death of her husband. And then I realized that I stopped seeing the paper bag immediately after the death of my boss. Why didn’t I ever think of this before? That it was my boss who was providing this for me? I guess it was because I never thought that a person who never replied to my greetings could ever be this generous! His wife started to cry and I told her to please stop crying and that I’m really sorry that I asked for a raise, I didn’t know that it was your husband who was providing me with the meals, I’ll remain as a watchman and be happy to provide my service. His wife told me, I’m crying because I’ve finally found the 7th person my husband was giving this bag full of food. I knew my husband was giving 7 people everyday, I had already found the 6 people, and all these days I was searching for the 7th person. And today I found out. From that day onwards, I started to receive the bag full of food again, but this time his son was bringing it to my house and giving it to my hand. But whenever I thanked him, he never replied! Just like his dad! One day, I told him THANK YOU in a very loud voice! He replied back to me to please not be offended when he doesn’t reply, because he has a hearing problem, just like his dad!” Oh! We have been wrong so many times judging others without knowing the true story behind their actions. Be kind and courteous in dealing with others, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be careful, not everything is about you. Before you assume, there is this thing called ASKING. Don’t just jump to conclusion, because that is truly not an exercise, it may cause you more harm at the end of the day. Many of our problems are caused by how we process what happens around us. Don’t judge a situation you have never been in. Be humble enough to learn. You do not know it all. Lets change the way we feel about ourselves and others. There are two sides to a story. Don’t believe everything you hear. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. If this has touched you just type *AMEN*@ Nii Armah

Source :Nii Aarmah

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Today, we continue in our study of wisdom from Proverbs 14. “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” (Proverbs‬ ‭14:1‬).Wise women are reading this now. Notice that it does not say beautiful women build their house. What is your house? Your house is your husband, your children, your home and the environment you live in. The Bible says that a wise woman builds this up but a foolish one plucks it down. Now, you may wonder why someone would pluck down what they are building. You will find out that a lot of women have mental diseases. There are a lot of mental illnesses in women. Some of their behavior makes you wonder if they do not like themselves, happiness or peace. You may laugh or despise what I am saying but after years of living, you will find out that a lot of people are unstable and some have personality disorders, which are all psychiatric conditions. Ladies need God to stabilize them and above all, humility. If a lady is not careful, the stresses of life may easily cause them to behave as someone who hates themselves. Some people are so prone to quarreling. It is the foolish that plucks down her own house. She herself destroys her own happiness, home, joy and everything. They simply cannot help themselves.
You would think that when you are spoken to, you will receive a revelation not to destroy your own house but, that is not the case. The usual story when a marriage fails is that the man has left his wife for a beautiful girl he saw. In almost every case that I have had a personal interaction with, none of them have been caused by the man. In the cases that I have witnessed, it is often the woman plucking down her house. Anytime you see what we call helpless behavior, you must start to think of mental disorders. Mental disorder is not only classified as schizophrenia or madness in some countries. Schizophrenia is the father of all mental diseases. However, before schizophrenia, there are a range of behaviors that fall into mental disorders. One of these is bipolar disorder where there are two poles of an individual. In one instance, the person is very happy and friendly and in an instance, they switch to the polar opposite spectrum of emotion. That is why it is good to be in a relationship for a long time, to see if the person you are with has two poles. I had a friend who was a doctor. His wife was always fighting with his mother. It got to a point where it became too much for him to bear so he decided to divorce her. As he was in the midst of this, his wife did something that caused him to remember his psychiatry notes from medical school. He realized that his wife’s situation was a mental disorder. He did not end up divorcing her but rather took her for treatment.
Even fear is sometimes the onset of the most serious symptom of mental disease. There are only two symptoms that are used to diagnose full scale madness and one of them is paranoid delusions which is, a form of fear that believes something in spite of contrary belief. Stubbornness is the junior brother of paranoid delusions. Stubborn people are people who will never change their mind in spite of all contrary belief. Stubbornness is within the range of paranoid delusions.
“He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the Lord: but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him” (Proverbs‬ ‭14:2‬). You can only walk in uprightness if you fear God. Most bad things can be done without people seeing them. So, it is only when you fear the Lord that you will keep from certain things.
“In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them” (Proverbs‬ ‭14:3‬). Now one of the main ways to see pride is through the mouth. In my book “Formula for Humility”, I have identified 15 types of proud speaking. One of these is overconfident declarations. One pastor said to me “I will show you church growth in six months”. When you tell your mother “I will show you what a good marriage is”, it is an overconfident saying and a sign of pride. The next type of proud speaking are comments that forget about the grace of God! To have a child or a husband is by the grace of God. It is not by beauty neither is it because “you are the type that marries.” Be careful, because the rod of pride is found in the mouth of the foolish. The next type of proud speaking are high sounding statements. One day I met a brother and asked him if he was paying his tithe. He just laughed in a mocking way and said “do you know how much I earn that you are asking me to pay tithe? I earn dollars.” Watch out! From today, if a close friend of yours makes a proud statement, point it out to them and preserve them from becoming proud! Declarations of personal achievements and greatness are also signs of proud speaking! One day I went to a shop and asked the lady “Do you believe in God?” She looked at me and said “I believe in myself.” You must really be a proud person to make such a statement. When you get a beloved do not say, “I am nice that’s why I got a beloved”, “I’m gentle that’s why I got a beloved”, “I follow the things in the Bible that’s why I got a beloved”. “For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭4:7‬)? When God does something for you, give him the glory and stop speaking proudly! Know that is the grace of God upon your life. Make sure the none of these proud statements are found in your mouth.
“Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox” (‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14:4‬). Sometimes, there are things that have two effects. One may be very good but have bad side effects. Like the verse says, if you have an ox, there is a lot of dirt that comes with it but, there is also much increase. So the increase goes along with dirt. There are many things like this in the world. For instance, a beloved or marriage. If there is no marriage or beloved, the crib will be clean! There will be no quarreling or arguments and most of the things preached about would not be needed. However, much increase comes about by this beloved and marriage. Do not only focus on the bad aspects of your relationship. That is the folly of a lot of people. Stop complaining about the side effects of your relationship. Remember that two are better than one.
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Season 1 Episode 3

Sugar, hope you are having an awesome day. Did you or are you missing me?. Well, I miss you too. Your kisses, touch, comforting and encouraging words. Please hurry and come to me.
Hun, ever experienced accusations? Maybe you were accused or you did the accusing yourself…..hahahaha, don’t worry. This is not me accusing you. This is me trying to enlighten us all on “accusations”. Most part of this epistle is taken from the book “Those who accuse you”, again by Bishop Dag H.Mills.

Why write about accusations and not any other lovely topic, you might probably be wondering.hmmmm, seen the picture attached to this episode? When I was about snapping it, I made up a little. As you can see honey, it isn’t much of a make up(aside my lips though, hahaha). Well, some friends of mine decided to criticize me(some to my face and some behind my back) because they felt it was too much and didn’t understand why I get up and just decide to make up. I was hurt but being the sanguine that I am, I quickly got over it. By the way, sanguines (hope you know about temperaments) are one of the genuine people you can ever get for a spouse. Please take note and research if you have no idea what a sanguine is (I still love me some smart guy).

Is someone wondering how accusations and criticism became the same thing? Yes please, they are. Accusation has many branches such as Direct allegations, Murmur, Criticism, Sarcasm, Silence etc. Of these, I believe the deadliest would be what I call CSS(criticism,sarcasm and silence). These three can destroy any wonderful relationship. Be it marriage, family, friendship, team, partnership, you name it. I wouldn’t want that for my marriage. No, not when we wouldn’t have done all the do’s and uncovered all there is to uncover like the varieties in all the types of food in marriage (the natural and the God giving type). I know I know, I can have a naughty mind sometimes.

Back to our lesson, you could ask, Are accusations not statements that are true or false? If they are not true, why don’t you just ignore them? You see, it is never as easy as that.
Accusations are anointed from Hell. Accusations are spiritual things. Accusations are tiny arrows loaded with satanic poison. Revelation 12:10
As soon as the poison enters your blood, it spreads through your whole being, attacking your heart. Like some fast-spreading natural poison, you are greatly affected by a seemingly little dart.
I have seen mighty giants of God totally ruffled by unfounded accusations which looked insignificant to the bystander. Such is the power of accusation. It is a puzzling weapon and its effects are mysterious. Truly, accusations are spiritual weapons.
Accusations can be likened to the pouring of Satan’s faeces or urine on relationships.Accusations can be likened to Satan vomiting on precious relationships.
Somehow, these accusations have the effect of dirtying everything. Pure relationships are poisoned by even the slightest accusations! Nothing is ever the same once you have been accused.

I personally have lost amazing relationships due to this thing called accusation. Some amazing friendships ain’t so cool anymore because of it. Again, I believe it played a part in the breaking up of my former relationship with my beloved.

My love, though I would love to talk about criticism,sarcasm and the silence branches of accusations, I equally do not want to bore you with chaw writings. So I will stop here and enlighten you about those later in another episode.

Until then, always speak in love and with love……..
Love you dear husband and as always, I can’t wait to be in your arms.

Written by Josephine Jessica Kussi

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There is no two ways about it; we have all experienced what it feels like to be disappointed. We have been disappointed in ourselves, others, outcomes, the weather, our job, and just about anything else we can think of.

In reality, feeling disappointed has nothing to do with other people, places or circumstances. The fact is that being disappointed doesn’t actually originate with external sources, even though it might feel like it.

If the weather turns bad while I’m on vacation, what does that have to do with me? And if the new car I just bought is terrible, how is that from an internal source? I don’t control the weather, and I didn’t build the car, so how can I be responsible for the disappointment involved?

Disappointments are an emotional response that we create. Feeling disappointed is our emotional response to some expectation. That’s right; expectation is the reason we feel disappointed.

We get disappointed when things fail to live up to our expectations. We tend to attach expectation to almost everything in life and this means there is a distinct possibility that we could end up being disappointed.

The role of expectation

Much of our excitement and enthusiasm in life comes from eager expectation. We look forward to things when we anticipate a desirable outcome. In fact, often times that excitement makes up a large percentage of the joy we experience.

Expectation can also work the other way. If we are anticipating a painful outcome, we don’t call it excitement, do we? No, we call it anxiety. In the case of a negative expectation (anxiety), we are glad when things don’t turn out the way we expected. We feel relieved instead of disappointed.

How do we avoid feeling disappointed?

• Accept wider parameters

When our expectations fall within parameters that are too narrow, then there is a higher likelihood that we will end up disappointed.

For example, if you go to Hawaii during the winter, accept the fact that you will probably have some rainy days. Plan some non-beach activities around those days and you will be covered. Having a Plan B or other options can reduce the pain you go through if Plan A fails.

• Live in the moment

Viewing your life as an adventure allows you to enjoy the greatest variety of experiences. You still have the expectation of adventure, but you haven’t hemmed it into a preconceived package. Instead, you have left yourself open to just about anything that comes along and your enthusiasm remains high. Life is always an experience; cherish that and you will enjoy the ride.

• Value learning

There are valuable lessons in every experience we have. How do you feel about these life lessons? Truth be told, some of our most profound learning comes from situations that didn’t turn out the way we thought they would. Much of the time we get what we need rather than what we want. If learning and growing is a top priority for us, we will find reasons to appreciate a wide range outcomes and experiences.

• It’s all about attitude

In the long run, it is mostly up to us to decide what value we place on any experience. If we are looking for reasons to feel disappointed, that’s what we are going to find.

Things don’t always turn out the way we might like, that’s a fact we all live with. Being enthusiastic and full of eager anticipation makes life fun and exciting. Learning to love the journey is the best defence against the dark cloud of disappointment.

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You have fallen in love and everything looks great because you think you have so many things in common and the future looks good.

The next hurdle is to introduce your lover to your parents because in Ghana, a marriage is not about individual; it is about two families. You therefore need the approval of your parents because it is an important ingredient to a happy relationship. Your parents can make or break your relationship.

Your parents okay your lover

Your marriage has greater chance of success. Your parents are older, more experienced, not blinded by love, infatuation or lust and can, therefore, make wiser decisions. They know you better than anyone else and will sincerely want the best for you.

In fact in the past it was the responsibility of parents to find suitable partners for their children. The process called ‘patriarchy’ mandated the parents to research the backgrounds of potential partners to ensure the person and the family do not have the history of any issue that could threaten the health of a marriage. Such marriages have only 10 per cent failures as compared to 60  per cent where people do not involve their parents

Your parents show no interest

They are telling you in indirect ways that they are not comfortable with your relationship but may not say anything for fear of hurting you. Some parents may take their minds off you. Withdrawal leads to suspicion, tension, anxiety and hurt. If your parents are silent on your lover, find diplomatic ways to open up to them and hear their candid views before your get fully committed to your relationship

Your parents openly oppose your relationship

Appreciate their concern. Do not be insolent or critical even when you think they are wrong. Buy time to examine their concerns. If they have good reasons like your lover being lazy, unfaithful or abusive, then listen to them and leave.

Fact is sometimes they get you out of certain danger. For example, four years ago, a lady introduced her lover to her parents. The mother knew the man and the family very well.

They have a long history of broken marriages because they were abusive, critical and intolerant. They also had strong tribal sentiments and would never allow their children to marry outside their tribe.

This lady wouldn’t listen to the concern of their parents. She arranged for some distant relatives to accept the customary drinks for the traditional marriage. Six months ago she was back with her parents.

Her story is that the parents of her husband come to her matrimonial home to introduce her husband’s new wife. The man did not sack her; she sacked herself!

If your parents, however, have small issues like your lover being from a different tribe or age difference, be humble and  share their concerns; if your lover proves to be good, they will give you the green light

How do your parents rate your lover

God commands you to honour your parents and this includes your relationship. It is advisable not to make the choice of your lover a life and death affair. It is also a myth to think that only one person is meant to be your lover and your parents must not come in.

If you refuse to listen to your parents, you will be tensed anytime you are with them or you may see their concern too late and say ‘my parents were right’ and lose your motivation to work on your relationship. Always remember that you can have an ex-lover but not an ex-parent. You need your parents and your lover to have a good relationship. Work hard to strike a good balance.

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Some women’s handbags are literally overflowing with make-up stuff and they cannot bear to leave the house without using make-up or to walk around all day without a touch up on their make-up.

Unlike the olden days when women used only ordinary powder on their faces, these days there are make-up products such as the eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, blusher, eyeshadow, compact powder, foundation and others which serve different purposes.

To efficiently apply these make-up products to enhance one’s facial features and appearances, make-up tools and applicators such as facial brushes, pair of tweezers, lip brush and puff are essential.

Despite spending lots of money on beauty products and their applicators and tools, it seems lots of women give little thought to the hygiene issues associated with neglecting make-up tools.

Others also find it generous to share their tools with their friends, family members, colleagues or sometimes strangers without bearing in mind the consequences.


Sharing her experience on using a friend’s make–up brush, a young Australian mother said she could not have imagined that fixing a spot on her face with her best friend’s make-up brush could have caused her to contract an infection which has left her paralysed.

Identified as Jo Gilchrist, the 27-year-old woman believes the staphylococcus or staph bacteria entered her body and attacked her spine after she used her friend’s make-up kit.

According to online information, medics at the Princess Alexandra Hospital in Brisbane are still attempting to rid her body of the bacteria, almost three months after she became ill.

Jo Gilchrist must now spend the next three months in hospital, where she will be administered with strong antibiotics.

Staph bacteria are often found in the nose or on the skin, and they generally do not cause any symptoms – a phenomenon known as colonisation.

“I literally thought I was going to die,” she told Warwick Daily News.

Transferring bacteria

Many wonder if it is possible to get infected by using a friend’s make-up kit. A cosmetologist told the Daily Graphic in an interview that it was possible to transfer bacteria through a make-up tool.

Mrs Emma Yankey, a lecturer at the 2nd Image School and Clinic, said bacteria and other infections piled up daily as make-up tools and products were used without proper hygienic maintenance.

“Women tend to have elaborate make-up sets but they often forget the importance of keeping the application brushes hygienic and for longevity,” she said.

She added that improper maintenance of make-up kits and tools meant inviting skin problems for oneself while sharing personal make-up tools could also cause the transmission of bacteria or other infections from one person to the other.

she said a victim with a bacteria infection from a make-up tool or product was likely to transfer that infection to another person, especially one who has a weak immune system.

She said because most of the kits were kept in handbags and containers, the sun rays did not shine on them to kill the bacteria, leading to a piling up of infections.

“Mascara, for instance, can be a breeding ground for bacteria, so it’s not surprising that we have found that nearly half of women suffer from itchy, watery and red eyes when they hold on to their make-up for so long and share it with friends,” she explained.

Keep them clean

Concerning brushes used to put colour on eyes, lips and cheeks, Mrs Yankey said they attracted bacteria; hence transmitting infection to another was easy.

She added that make-up built up on dirty brushes and puff could lead to scratchy feeling on one’s skin.

“That is why there are a lot of women with rashes on their faces and they complain that their make–up products are not good for them,” she indicated.

“Be they brushes or the containers in which you keep your blush, lipstick, eyeshadow and more, make sure to clean them regularly and do not share,” she urged.

Mrs Yankey also advised that make-up tools used on commercial basis should be sterilised at all times or clients must have their own make-up set.

She also advised that when make–up was done in the evening the face must be cleansed in the morning to remove all dirt to avoid the pile-up of bacteria.

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The next time you ask the boss for a raise based on your hard work, maybe you should ask instead for a bonus based on your belly fat. Because the more hours you spend at work each day, the more you’ll weigh. It’s really that simple, according to a study in the journal Preventive Medicine—those of us who put in more than 40 hours a week are more likely to get fat.

And it’s not because your demanding work schedule interferes with the hours you’d otherwise spend training for the Olympics. The average workplace is riddled with weight gain triggers, regardless of whether you’re a fortune teller or a Fortune 500 CEO. But knowing what you’re up against can make a huge difference. Here are 7 things you’re probably doing at work that are causing you to pack on the pounds, compliments of Eat This, Not That!.

Fat Work Habit #7: Arriving Late and Staying Later 
When you work later you also eat later and go to sleep later, both of which lead to unwanted pounds. A study in the journal Nutrition Research found that those whose last meal was closest to bedtime took in more calories overall throughout the day than those who gave their bodies time to recover before heading off to bed.

Do This! Instead of staying later, get home, get to sleep, and get to the office earlier. You’ll get more done, with less impact on your belly. And consider a new trend, intermittent fasting. Your body needs 12 hours of fasting in order to get all of its fat-burning pathways fired up. If you give yourself that time without eating, you can almost eat whatever you like for the other 12 hours and not gain weight. (And studies show that among obese patients, this plan was easier to stick to than any other kind of weight-loss program.)

Fat Work Habit #6: Driving to Work
Those who drive to work gain more weight than those who take public transportation, according to a study in the British Medical Journal. And the real bummer is that exercise doesn’t help. According to the study, commuting by car slaps an extra 5.5 pounds on your body, whether you exercise or not. Ouch.

Do This! Obviously, walk or cycle to work, if you can. But also consider public transportation. Reachers found those who trained or bussed to work were slimmer than those who drove, because they usually had to walk at one end of the commute.

Fat Work Habit #5: Staying Glued to Your Seat
We sit an average of 67 hours a week—that’s nine hours a day sitting, six hours lying down, and only about seven hours out of every 24 spent actually moving. And our sedentary jobs now cause us to burn 100 fewer calories a day than we did 50 years ago. That alone translates to gaining an extra 10 pounds a year.

Do This! A recent study in the Clinical Journal of the American Society of Nephrology found that taking a two minute walk every hour can offset the effects of too much sitting.

Fat Work Habit #4:  Drawing the Blinds
If you don’t have a window near you at work (at least 20 feet away), seek one out. Employees with windows near their desks receive 173% more white light exposure during work hours and 46 minutes more minutes of sleep per night than employees who don’t have exposure to natural light. And those without windows get less physical activity. Plus, a new study in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Workers found that being exposed to artificial light leads to weight gain regardless of what you eat.

Do This! If you’re a prisoner of cubicleland, try to get as much morning sunlight before work as you can; in studies, sun exposure between 8 am and noon is associated with higher fat burning and significantly lower BMIs, regardless of exercise, calorie intake, sleep, or even age.

Fat Work Habit #3: Ordering Lunch
A study found that just having a lot of take-out options near your work or along your commute to work makes you twice as likely to be obese.  Think about that for a moment: Just the mere presence of take-out food increases your risk of obesity.

Do This! The best thing for you to do is pack your lunches and at least two snacks to make sure you don’t have to go searching for food elsewhere.

Fat Work Habit #2:  Grabbing that 3 p.m. Coffee
We wouldn’t dare ask you to forgo your morning cup of coffee…or even your 10 am cup. But you might want to skip that 3:00 coffee run. Too much caffeine can lead to insulin resistance and increased fat storage, according to a study in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry.

Do This! When the 3:00 slump hits, go for a walk or work out instead.

Fat Work Habit #1: Giving in to Work Stress
When you’re stressed at work you are more likely to gain weight, because you’re more likely to want to hide under the covers when you get home. A recent study in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that people with high levels of job stress are 26% more likely to be inactive during their down time than those with low-stress jobs. A University of Rochester study echoed these results, finding that stress at work leads to unhealthy behaviors like more sitting and watching TV and less exercise.

Do This! It’s one thing for your job to make you unhappy. But if it’s making you unhealthy, it might be time to start looking around.

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You cringe at the thought of saying no. You obsess about what others think of you and whether you’re doing something to make them dislike you. You live your life based on the opinions of others because you are deathly afraid of disappointing them. Do any of these sound familiar?

You are likely a chronic people pleaser. It’s hard not to struggle with people-pleasing at one time or another in our lives. As social beings, it’s in our nature to get along with others; our survival and success depend on it.

However, there is a fine line between healthy social behavior and the experience of emotional depletion caused by chronic people-pleasing. In addition to being emotionally drained, you may find yourself compromising on your principles and values in order to be accepted. As you help others to get what they want, your own health and well-being will suffer. As a recovering people pleaser myself, I’ve observed these five common signs of chronic people-pleasing and some ways to overcome it:

1. You’re incapable of saying no.

Do you find it painfully hard to turn down the requests of family, friends, and even acquaintances or strangers? You really want to say no, but instead, you say yes to their various demands. Before you know it, you’ve become the go-to person when something needs to get done. From the small to the large, you take on every task. You may even be considered a hero to some. But on the inside, you’re suffering. You genuinely want to help others, but you also know that you are depleting your own resources with every “yes.” You may fear that you’ll lose your friendships and good reputation by saying no. After all, last thing you want to be called is selfish.

Solution: First, realize that your capacity to care for others and your capacity to care for yourself are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the two are intimately related. Second, understand that you are not responsible for the happiness of those around you. They are. Let these two realities give you permission to say no. Start practicing with small requests. Refuse kindly, and without apology.

2. You avoid making decisions or sharing your opinions.

Do you have a hard time voicing your opinions and feelings in a group setting or with close friends? Do you constantly allow others to make decisions for you? You understand a deep truth about decisions and opinions: they divide. However, it’s not in your nature to cause division by speaking up, so you remain silent to avoid conflict. Over time, this behavior is deadly, because as you defer to the opinions and decisions of others, you are silencing your own voice. This will rob the world of your unique perspectives and gifts.

Solution: Remember that you can disagree without being disagreeable. People can have divergent opinions and still treat each other with respect and kindness. So give voice to your thoughts, concerns, and needs. By speaking up, you may rock the boat. You may even be outvoted. But if you treat others with respect, they will respect you even when they disagree with your opinions and choices.

3. You’re crushed when you discover someone doesn’t like you.

This is a hard one. It seems reasonable to assume that if you go out of your way to please everyone, then everyone will like you. But it’s not true. Some people will dislike you simply because of who you are or for reasons outside of your control. You understand this intellectually, but you cannot stop trying to win the few holdouts.

Solution: Closely examine your desire to be liked by everyone. Did this originate in your childhood, as you tried to win the affections of family members or friends at school? Use tools such as reflection, meditation, and counseling to help you let go of past negative experiences. As social beings, we need to be loved and accepted – but not by everyone. Decide whose love and affection is worth the effort and whose is not.

4. You’re resentful of others but are not sure why.

This often happens when we suppress our feelings and needs over the long term. Do you feel unexplained anger toward your close friends, spouse, or boss? The anger is your subconscious telling you that you have been neglecting yourself while helping others advance their goals. Think of this resentment as the “check engine” light turning on in your car. Don’t ignore it.

Solution: Face the truth of what is going on in your life. If you’re feeling overextended or taken advantage of, acknowledge these feelings. Avoid second-guessing yourself. Find time for self care, and make this a priority.

5. You’re unaware of how far you’re willing to go – until you’re in over your head.

This is a sure sign that you lack proper boundaries. You avoid setting limits because you believe this runs counter to having a generous spirit. But this simply allows people greater latitude to intrude into your life. The requests may become more and more unreasonable and you may not realize it until someone has crossed the line. If you’ve taken on too much, you may experience passive aggressive behavior, crying for no apparent reason, anxiety, or depression.

Solution: Be willing to admit that your time and energy are limited, not because you’re selfish, but because it’s the truth. Boundaries are simply a recognition of that truth. Do not be afraid to set your boundaries and enforce them. It will take a while for you and others to get used to it, but you’ll experience an increased sense of well-being, and people will learn to accept your limits.

Be more generous to yourself

You can be generous without allowing yourself to be used. You can be kind without being a pushover. You can be well-liked without having to sell your soul. Don’t allow your fears and insecurities to turn you into a chronic people-pleaser. Instead, make time to please one of the most important people in your life: you. Why? Because when you care for yourself, you can care for others out of the abundance of your own well-being. You will do this not because you are afraid of losing their affection, but simply because you want to. You will experience true freedom. So decide today to give yourself the same love and attention you give to others. This is one decision you won’t regret.

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